From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as:

Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate

How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life

Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering

Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?

Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time

Airlines serving up one hot mess

Action figure Jesus

Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter

And much more!

Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.